Saturday, September 19, 2020

I'm about to lose my boob for a second time for a cancer I didn't have

While this site was created during a time when I was experiencing extreme back pain, I've more recently been experiencing issues with the flip side. Namely, my breasts. The journey, to date, has been these last 20 months. 

It began with a diagnosis of breast cancer. It was in situ, referred to as Stage 0, meaning there were cancer cells found in milk ducts (of one breast, in my case) that were not yet invasive into the breast tissue (which begins Stage 1). For many reasons, a unilateral mastectomy was recommended. 

Because my diagnosis was Stage 0, it is referred to, by some, as a non-cancer. One oncologist did just that not long after my breast was removed. 

It felt like a slap in the face.

Fast forward to today, it is being recommended that my breast be again removed. This time, it will be an implant rather than breast tissue but I will still need to face the painful task of reconstruction for a second time (in as many years). The process will take months, over three calendar years. Three maximum out-of-pocket deductibles.

This non-cancer will cost me $20,000 before it's over and my insurance company an estimated $150,000.

This new boob had better be pretty spectacular.

In fact, I've already pondered whether we could add a squeaky valve while we're at it. It would be a wildly inappropriate party trick to squeeze my boob and have it squeak. But for a hundred and seventy grand, it really should do something.




[Update: if I include the amount my employer paid to hire a temporary replacement while I was on sick leave, the total cost of my fantastically unfantastic boob is closer to $200,000. If my entire body was valued at the same rate of $200k per .44 lb, I would be worth more than $56 million. Take that, Jaime Sommers.]

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