I'm calling the surgery off. Nurse Ratched is going to have a cow when I call her on Monday to advise her. She already gave me an earful last Thursday when I wouldn't tell her over the phone whether I was going to keep my appointment. She told me People are waiting. I told her I have been waiting, too! This is an entirely different rant which I may post at a later date.
I've decided that I'm well enough to work and the pain is low enough to live with. It's to the point that I would call it stiffness more than pain. This is great news, of course, and my husband is very glad to have me back as a partner rather than a dependent.
I feel a little like I've invited you all to a large, elaborate wedding and then waited until all the pews were filled before I called the whole thing off. Embarrassed and relieved at the same time. I don't want any of you to think I was crying Wolf! or that I lost my marbles entirely. (Okay, the jury is out on the marbles charge.) This was all very real and I couldn't have endured it without you.
I am sincerely grateful to the many, many angels in my life. Thank you for the cards, calls, e-mails, text messages, phone calls, visits, food, support, encouragement, and prayers. It truly made a difference. More so than all the doctor visits, I am convinced.
This is not the end of back(b)log. Not quite yet. I feel like I owe you and a lot of other people an explanation - a reasoning for my decision. I wish I could do that now while it's all fresh in my head. But life is rushing on at an ever increasing speed and I am already swept up in its current.
In the meantime, I will find a moment to celebrate and I hope you'll celebrate with me. I told my husband when I got the surgery date that all I wanted when this was over was one scoop of Baskin-Robbins Chocolate Chip Mint. (I guess they call it Mint Chocolate Chip but then I'd have to call the new blog MiChoChi and I like ChoChiMi better....) I figured the surgery staff wasn't going to give me a lollipop or a sticker or anything so my goal was to get the surgery and then head straight to the ice cream shop. (As a courtesy to Cincinnati, there is no Graeter's here. If there was, this would be an entirely different discussion.)
But I'm not giving up the ice cream just because I'm giving up the surgery. That would be like giving up hope and I'm not about to do that. I have ten very intense weeks of work ahead of me and I'm going to need everything I've got to get through it. In fact, I'm off to work today but I'm taking a time out to get my scoop. If you get a chance, get one for yourself and enjoy the game (of football, of life, whatever).
Thanks for helping me get through this.
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