Approved for Take Off

Saw my doc and everything looks like a GO for my next surgery which is to install a tissue expander. That will happen in a couple of weeks. Over time, saline will be added to the device to stretch the skin and create a pocket large enough to house a breast implant. Last time, the implant was 200 cc. Between now and then, I'll have blood tests and a COVID test and there will be some period of quarantine.

I still haven't paid off all of my bills from the last surgery and have discovered that there is no way to find out much of what I've paid has applied to my deductible. I've also discovered that some of my medical providers have been billed as out-of-network which subjects me to a much larger out-of-pocket exposure.

My healthcare is a tangled mess and as soon as I get through this, I will find a different health insurance plan because the one I have is for shit.

MRI and a waiting game

There's nothing to do but wait - to receive the vaccine, to the end of the pandemic, and for a surgery that may or may not happen in January.

My surgeon and I do not have the best of relationships, in my opinion, but it would be very difficult to find  another one to take over in the middle of this process. I try to be polite, compliant, and as trusting as I can be. My experience, however, is that he could change his mind at any moment as to what he will do so I can only hope things will go as planned.

The plan is to have surgery to place a tissue expander where my right breast used to be for the purpose of preparing a pocket large enough to house a breast implant at some time in the future. Over time, the volume of the expander is increased until it's the size I want to be - ideally, the same size as the left breast.

I don't know what size I am because I haven't worn a bra since March of 2019. After my mastectomy and earlier reconstruction, I never got fitted for a new bra. I've been wearing what is referred to as a soft bra. It is, indeed, soft and comes in sizes such as small, medium, and large. If I had to guess, my cup size would be an A but a Nordstrom employee who was helping me in a dressing room once upon a time in 2019 opine that I was a B. No matter. I'm not going for anything big. (The implant that was removed was a 200 cc if that's any reference at all.)

In the meantime I had an MRI to confirm that whatever scant tissue is still there continues to be cancer free because in no way to I want to proceed with additional surgery only to find out it might need to be undone yet again. I'd forgotten how loud that machine is and wondered if the noises I was hearing were similar to noises produced in torture. I fared well, remaining calm throughout, but I don't know about the angry, aggressive rock "music" that I've heard is also used in torture. At least it wasn't as bad as that.

The MRI revealed that I continue to be cancer free. Now, all that's left is the wait.