Survival

I don't think of myself as a cancer survivor. I rather think I'm surviving my healthcare system which has been far more difficult than my experience with cancer. I joke that I have spent more time on the phone with my heath insurance provider than I have with all my doctors in the last two and a half years combined. (For reference, I've had six surgeries so that's saying something.)

My brush with cancer was so brief it's as if I never had it which is a good thing. It means it was discovered in its earliest stages, before it even became invasive. It was, in fact, categorized as Stage 0 or as a pre-cancer: cancer cells that were growing in the milk ducts of my right breast (where most breast cancers begin) but hadn't yet ventured into the breast tissue. 

A lumpectomy was not possible because there was no lump, yet it was recommended that I have a mastectomy. Even though the breast tissue was, at that point, fine there wasn't all that much breast tissue to begin with, meaning the cancer cells, on a relative basis, occupied most of what little space there was. Ergo, it all had to go.

I have survived six surgeries: mastectomy, emergency drainage of hematoma, implant, removal of implant, insertion of tissue expander, final implant. In the span of two and a half years, I feel as though I've aged 10. It will take a long while for my body to recover from the effect of so many surgeries, or not being able to be active during six post-surgery recoveries.

Cancer survivor? More like cancer avoider. I was very lucky in that regard. Warrior? Maybe. But I didn't so much beat cancer as ran the other way. Yes, I survived but we're all surviving something.

Nearing the end, I hope.

My sixth, and hopefully last, surgery was August 10. They tell me it went well but I don't remember. 

I haven't looked at it yet. Not that I'm afraid to look, I just have been sleeping mostly since the tissue expander came out and the implant went in. 

I'm doing okay. Very little pain but some discomfort especially getting in and out of bed. My job is to just take it easy until my first follow up appointment.

Near the end? Not likely.

The final surgery has been scheduled for August 10. Meanwhile, there is the seemingly unending battle with my insurance company to pay for all of this. Plus, my surgeon's office sent me to collections because the battle with the insurance company was taking too long. So I paid the doctor off and now the battle includes trying to get a reimbursement for a claim that was processed incorrectly.

The hospital where I had my surgery lost my last two payments totaling $2,000 so they sent me to collections as well. It apparently makes no difference that I have sent them copies of the canceled checks. I don't deny that I owe them the money but I'm not going to pay them twice. It gives me a great deal of stress and opening the mail brings me no joy.

On the other hand, I'm blessed to have $2,000. I could make all this stress go away by giving them the money and then just hope that some day they'll figure it out and send me a refund with a sincere apology. BWAH HA HA.

I just hope they don't plan to blackmail me into giving them more money by holding up my next surgery. I want to get this over with.